It’s that time of the week again, Radio Rants! Hey, I haven’t used the single art in a while, toss it on down there.

M’kay, what are we looking at here? A rapper that I’ve never heard of (that’s Trey Songz), a rapper I’ve heard too much of (that would be Nicki Minaj), and a song that’s had a pretty good run on the rap and pop charts called “Bottoms Up”.

So, who wants to guess what this is about? Couldn’t be yet another damn club song about partaking in the consumption of hundreds of dollars worth of expensive alcohol while in the company of females, could it? Especially with a few off-hand mentions to the rear end of said ladies because the song is called “Bottoms Up”, eh, eh? Nope, definitely not a song about glorifying inebriation and the objectification of women. Oh, and there’s Nicki Minaj. I’m sure she’ll contribute something substantial to say. Not some babble about whatever the main attraction is rapping about. Well, let’s take a look at the chorus/hook and see how things unfold.

“Bottoms up bottoms up
Ay whats in ya cup–Look, he’s drinking with people!
Got a couple bottles
But a couple aint enough–He’s really drinking with them!
Bottoms up bottoms up
Throw ya hands up–Because this line is in every song now!
Tell security we bout a tear this club up–They’re at the club!
Bottoms up bottoms up
Pocket full of green–Hey look, money! That’s probably being spent on booze!
Girl you know I love the way you shake it in them jeans–Yup
Bottoms up bottoms up
Throw yo hands up
Bottoms up, bottoms up, bottoms up up, up bottoms“

…c’mon man, really? You hit every single cliche in thirteen lines. I’m aware that the only three locations for pop music these days seem to be the past, the bed, or the club, but try harder. And do we really need to throw our hands up? It seems like every song out there’s against keeping blood circulating to the extremities, but maybe that’s just me.

Alright, to the verses…more cliches? “I’m like a walking bank”, “Tell me what you drank”?  Boasts like that are so overdone I’d need both hands and a few toes to count out how many songs use them. What else do we have here?

Actually, the rest of Mr. Songz’ verses deal with, shocker, getting drunk with women, which is apparently some specialty of his. However, there’s a few lines that hint that maybe this a cry for help perhaps? For instance, say “Alcohol insane” real quick to yourself a few times (preferably under your breath so that no one in hearing range thinks you’re nuts). Then do the same with “Alcohol hero”. Put’em together.

Am I the only one that heard “Alcoholism” eventually? That, mixed with the second verse (“My vision’s blurred/My words slurred/Its jam packed”) doesn’t really make “Bottoms Up” the fun “Let’s get smashed” tune that it seems to pretend it is.

Especially with that eerie beat. For some reason, the music to “Bottoms Up” reminds me less of a Top 40 hit and more of the soundtrack to a demented soundtrack. The bass drums, creepy sound effects, crooked synths…it’s very off sounding. Not bad, though.

Aw boy, I almost forgot Nicki “I’m trying to out-feature Lil Wayne” Minaj. Weezy’s actually a pretty solid comparison on account of them both being weird as hell, and taking over most songs they’re featured on. Nicki’s schizophrenic verse is…well, a little hard to call. On a technical level, it’s crazy awesome how seamlessly she jumps from one whack-tastic cluster of lines to another while still keeping this great flow, and her lyrics are ok enough. On the other hand, damn those voices get annoying. She goes from spitting out lines perfectly normally to cartoonish barks to baby talk to sounding medicated out of her pink and blonde head in under a minute.

Really, “Bottoms Up” as a song doesn’t settle one way or another. Is this a bad song? Probably not. In fact, the times that I’ve heard it on the radio, I usually leave it on. But it’s not a really great song, either. I’m sick and tired of songs about the damn club, and Trey’s weak verses are only made interesting by the Halloween Hip-Hop behind him, as well as Minaj’s off-her-lithium verse. Eh, at least it’s interesting.