Well, you went and did it, America. Ke$ha’s latest suckstorm “We R Who We R” went from nowhere to #1 on the Hot 100, leaving me absolutely no choice but to do it. I was finally going to get around to “DJ Got Us Fallin’ in Love” or “Only Girl (In the World)” this week, but nope, we have to deal with this vapidity instead. I hope you’re happy.

Maybe I was getting happy that Ke$ha was finally on her way out. “Tik Tok” was inescapable for a while, but each of her following singles had a progressively shorter life span, and I thought she was finally out of material from Animal and we’d be done with her.

But no. Out of nowhere comes the stupidly titled “We R Who We R”, and the announcement of Ke$ha’s new EP Cannibal. The EP is due out later in November, and is supposed to be a bunch of amped up songs that are a direct result of all of the artist’s experiences from since she got famous. This should sound really familiar.

But let’s get to the actual song. My first thought after listening “We R Who We R” has always been exactly the same: Why is this song being wasted on Ke$ha? Producer Dr. Luke’s recent output has placed him in near Hack status, but his production  on “We R Who We R” is actually great. It’s a great dance track, and the chorus is massive. The last 50 seconds of the song are particularly great, and I would love this track if it was an instrumental.

Because only Ke$ha is able to take music I genuinely like and turn it into the most obnoxious song this side of Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakel. Ke$ha turns her already irritating qualities up to 11 for this song; her phoneyass “Valley Gurl” accent is more over the top than usual, she still can’t sing, she still can’t rap, and there’s somehow even more Auto-Tune here than there was on “Take It Off”. Her singing on the chorus is so technological that it might as well be another synth; I almost refuse to believe that’s a human voice.

But even her fake chorus schtick is easier to swallow than the wall of obnoxiousness that calls itself the verses. All the annoying things fall perfectly into place: the bullshit accent, the godawful sing-talking, the Auto-Tune so gratuitous I’m surprised it’s not self-parody, and my God her pronunciation. She’s literally talking in shitty text-message language. Example: “I’m so sick of being so srsis, it’s makin’ my brain dlriss” Because apparently when you’re Ke$ha, vowels don’t have to exist. Also, when was she ever serious?

Now, the message of the song. From what I’ve read, the song was inspired by the recent number of suicides by gay teens, and is supposed to be one of those “celebrate who you are” songs. I respect that.

But what I don’t respect is how insincere it is. Firstly, these lyrics are just like every other Ke$ha song. She’s still obsessed with clubs, boozing, and boys. Secondly, going from lyrics like these to “let’s celebrate who we are and how quirky we are!” can’t help but sound insincere. And thirdly, I refuse to accept a “be yourself” song from an artist who has created a public persona for the sole purpose of making money (she spells her name with a dollar sign for a reason).

At the end of the day, is this a terrible song? Kind of. On it’s face, it’s passable. The great chorus and stellar production throughout are what keeps the song afloat, despite Ke$ha’s attempt to sink what’s otherwise a great track (personally, I think it’s catchier than “Tik Tok”). It’s only once you really listen to it that the bullshit detector starts going off. Still, someone more deserving should have had this song.