Hello, and welcome back to Radio Rants! Who do we have today, someone new?

Tyga is, for all intents and purposes, a new face here on Ranting About Music. He’s only come up in one song I’ve even mentioned here before (“Deuces”), and discounting that, I only know him from the Young Money collaboration mess that was “Bed Rock”. Based off those two tracks he seems like…a pretty nice guy, actually. His verse in “Bed Rock” is him and his girlfriend watching TV, and later having (notably faithful) fun together, and in “Deuces” he sounds more like an insecure, somewhat whiny guy who got broken up with for being too clingy. So, what’s dude sound like on his own?

“Rack city, bitch/Rack, rack city, bitch/ten ten ten twenties on your titties, bitch”

…the fuck can I do with this?

Well, it seems that shittyboasttrackitis has claimed another up and coming rapper’s first major single, just like it did with Wiz Khalifa. But while Wiz at least kind of had his city and his car to brag about, Tyga has…substantially less.

I’m at a loss here, actually. I wish that hip-hop would follow a simple rule: unless you have something special to boast about, don’t. Otherwise you get lukewarm, generic tracks like “Rack City” that we’ve heard a dozen times before. Khalifa has a shiny car and a city? Sure. Jay-Z has more money and power than I can comprehend? Awesome. I’m even sold on boast tracks that don’t say anything in particular, but are really well written, like “Stronger” and “Six Foot Seven Foot”.

So what does Tyga brag about?

“100 deep VIP, no guest list” A bit demanding, but hey, he gets in the VIP. Just like Trey Songz, Newboyz, LMFAO, and a bunch of other B-listers.

“Got my other bitch fuckin’ with my other bitch” I think this line might have a denser swear-to-whole ratio than Samuel L. Jackson’s body of work. It also strikes me as a much more dickish and less amusing play on Kanye’s “other, other Benz” line from Otis.

“Y-Young Money, Young Money, yeah we gettin’ rich” If you’re signed to Young Money and not Lil Wayne, Nicki, or Drake, don’t brag, because you’re still a benchwarmer.

“Got your grandma on my dick” …huh? “You know what it is” Black and yellow, black and yellow–oops, sorry. Hard to keep my attention on something this dull.

“Too much rim make the ride go hard/Tell that bitch hop out, walk the boulevard” So he’s either telling the girl “Get out, your weighing the car down and making this less enjoyable for me”, or prostituting her out. Either way, fuck you, Tyga. Oh, and apparently “Tyga” stands for “Thank You God Always” so, y’know, just something to keep in mind.

The chorus/name of the song doesn’t lend itself to much deeper meaning. “Rack City” either refers to the idea that you can get racks of cash in Las Vegas, or titties, since both are mentioned beyond the song’s titular phrase. But really, the video makes “Rack City” look more like something out of Grand Theft Auto, and I find that more believable.

In addition to the bad and bland lyrics, Tyga’s mush-mouthed and dirge-y flow, and the utter lack of a hook, what makes “Rack City” so weak is that a cash/money/hoes song from Tyga just doesn’t sound convincing. He sounds too much like he’s trying to emulate Chris Brown’s faux-tough guy grumble without the energy, or Snoop Dogg’s monotone drawl without any of the smoothness. He doesn’t go with the sinister beat of the song. I know that when Rick Ross writes a self-fic about being a drug king, it’s probably just as bullshit as this, but Ross can at least sound like he’d kick your ass. Tyga just…doesn’t.

“Rack City” rubs me the wrong way. The beat’s nice for what it does, but if Tyga isn’t being bland or failing at bragging, he’s being misogynist, which curdles the song from boring into unlikable. Stick with Wheezy, Nicki, and Drake, Young Money. Actually, doesn’t Nicki have a new song out? Why don’t we listen to that?

Oh God, no.