Hello, and welcome to Radio Rants. Today, we’re back with everyone’s favorite sorta-band, Maroon 5!

Until “One More Night”, it’s been a year of silver trophies for The Adam Levine Band. Their first single “Payphone” only peaked at number 2 on the Hot 100 and the Songs of Summer chart thanks to “Call Me Maybe”, and their album Overexposed was denied the top honor by Linkin Park’s new record (although that could be because it isn’t very good). It seems as if the band’s decision to embrace Top 40 wholeheartedly hasn’t paid off quite as well as they’d hoped.

That is, until “One More Night”.

Maybe it’s because no one could hold onto the spot, maybe it’s because there’s no Carly Rae Jepsen in the way, or maybe it’s because there’s no awful guest verse on this one, but “One More Night” beat out “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” and “Whistle” for number one for the past two weeks. Must be good, right?

Well…kinda? One of the more recurring labels Maroon 5 gets slapped with is being inoffensive, and “One More Night” is as inoffensive as they come. Although, to its credit, the first time that you hear that the reggae beat and flanged, upstroke guitar, it’s a little jarring that this is really Maroon 5. But that “Ooooh, ooooh, oooooh, ooh oooh” falsetto is all Levine, and from there, the song is so repetitive that by the time it’s over almost four minutes later, it’s easy to forget that “One More Night” is an anomaly. It’s also kind of easy to forget the song itself.

One of the more cloying aspects of “One More Night” is how its produced. Shellback and Max Martin (who also have writing credit) produce the song like a pop hit, all slick and polished with extra sound effects added into the mix. The problem is that the production doesn’t really fit the song–unlike “Payphone”, “One More Night” sounds like it was written by a band. But there’s no pop hook to lean on, and the band doesn’t do anything aside from a few bass riffs to deviate from the song’s bounce. It’s almost as if Max Martin and Adam Levine looked at each other, expecting the other to make sure the song had something catchy about it.

That’s not to say that “One More Night” doesn’t have anything going for it. The instrumentation’s nice, and even if it’s repetitive and played out by the time the song’s over, the groove’s kinda cool. The melody tanks, though; it barely exists, and when it does, there’s almost deviation. The bridge is a little different, but only minimally so. The tone is also conflicted; on one hand, “One More Night” has that reggae, Fun In The Sun setup, but on the other hand, the processing and the reverb on the guitar makes it sound chilly. Maybe the lyrics will decide it. So, Levine, are you and the implicit chick fighting or fucking this time?

“You and I go hard–please tell me Maroon 5 did not just say “hard”–at each other like we’re going to war” So is this fighting or fucking yet?

“You and I go rough, we keep throwing things and slamming the doors” Fighting it is!

“But baby there you go again, there you go again/making me love you/Yeah, I stopped using my head/using my head let it all go” This is a “why can’t I quit you?” song?

“Got you stuck on my body, on my body like a tattoo” If she’s “stuck on your body”, you might want to see a doctor. At least they didn’t go with “like you’re glue”.

“So I cross my heart and I hope to die/that I’ll only stay with you one more night” It’s kind of like Maroon 5’s material, if you think about it. “This is the last song we’ll write about a relationship, we swear!” I wish there was a way to get Adam Levine and Taylor Swift to collaborate on an album of slightly obsessing, passive-aggressive songs towards an ex that probably doesn’t want anything to do with them.

“Try to tell you no, but my body keeps telling me yes/Try to tell you stop, but your lipstick got me so out of breath” Uh, guys? I don’t think you’re talking about love. Hell, it’s Maroon 5 we’re talking about; anytime their songs mention love, I want to put quotation marks around it, anyway.

Like I said, “One More Night” is as inoffensive and immemorable as they come. It’s kind of fun for what it is, but it doesn’t go anywhere with it, and that’s what does the song in. The initial gimmick of “Maroon 5 does reggae” runs out of shock value quick, and “One More Night” plods along with the same inevitability as its subject swears by. She might remember you, and you might remember her, but I’m not going to remember this.