Radio Rant: Chris Brown feat. Busta Rhymes, Lil Wayne – Look At Me Now

Chris Brown, y’all.

To be totally honest, I never felt anything towards Chris Brown. His first hit, “Run It!” was one of those songs that always bugged me, even though I knew nothing about it, including who sang it. Part 2 of Brown’s success came in 2007, a time when I was paying absolutely no attention to pop music, so there’s that. The only blip he’s registered with me was last year’s “Deuces”, a song so terribly mean-spirited that it could soundtrack puppies being kicked.

Well, now we’re looking at his current top ten hit, “Look at Me Now”. The song kicks off with minimalist production with too much reverb before Brown announces, “I don’t see how you can hate from outside of the club…you can’t even get in!” and giggles like a ten year old girl suffering an asthma attack.

I had never thought about it, but Chris Brown’s post-Rihanna image is sort of fascinating. While Rihanna’s past few hits have been either playful or emphasizing how in-command she is, Brown’s have featured pouts, stares, and arrogance. Obviously, he can’t really hold onto the Nice Guy image he built up, so he’s kind of gone for this cocky asshole tough guy persona. It might be part of his personality, or it might be a punch clock villain type of deal, but either way, it’s interesting.

I only mention that because Brown’s in full cocky cock mode for “Look At Me Now”. The hook is uncreative chest thumping: “I got money, I’m fresh”., you know, things that are kind of redundant when you’re in year 5 or 6 of stardom. The verses don’t fair much better; Brown’s first verse is bad imitation of Soulja Boy (let that sink in), and let me pull some lyrics from the second verse. “And she accidentally slip and fall on my dick/Ooops I said on my dick/I ain’t really mean to say on my dick/But since we talking about my dick/All of you haters say hi to it”

just for you, Chris.

However, someone involved seemed to realize that a horrible main performer and surprisingly good production values don’t make for a hit song, and we’re treated to guest verses by Busta Rhymes and still Tha Cater IV-less Lil Wayne.

There’s no way to get around it, Busta makes this track hot. The lines themselves are satisfactory, but his minute long rapid fire unrelenting delivery more than make up for it. His verse doesn’t feel like a guest spot; as soon as he starts, “Look At Me Now” fits him like a glove, and he essentially owns this song. In fact, when Chris Brown comes back for the chorus with “Look at me now, look at me now”, it’s not hard to imagine him saying it in desperation after having just been curbstomped on his own song.

And as soon as he shuts his trap, part 2 of “Chris Brown Gets His Ass Beat By His Own Guest Rappers” begins. Lil Wayne comes in with a solid verse; a little faster than his usual, but he keeps his flow up and still gets a few clever lines in. It’s a good verse.

But am I the only one who thinks that Lil Wayne’s sounded kind of…odd lately?  His stop-start build and release flow on “Look At Me Now” sounds almost more Nicki Minaj than Lil Wayne. His post-Ryker/enforced sober material doesn’t feel as characteristically “Wheezy” as his older stuff does. Yeah, he’s still wacky and weird (and even technically better), but only because he’s trying to be. I’m not saying Lil Wayne should go back to the drugs, but right now he seems to still be refining how to work without them.

But identity crisis or not, his verse  still blows Brown out of the water. People say that Dr. Dre sounded like a guest on his song “I Need a Doctor” (something with which I’ve never agreed), but I’d say that holds more true for Brown on “Look At Me Now”. Not a rapper himself, his verses get absolutely buried by two veterans turning in top notch performances, but Brown’s presence on the track is still enough to bring it down a few notches for me. Can we look at someone else?

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Radio Rant: Bruno Mars – The Lazy Song

Ah…summer’s almost upon us! It’s getting warm out, the sun is shining, fake tans are starting to come back up…yep, summer’s the season. And of course, every summer needs a soundtrack. So what are we looking at today?

“The Lazy Song”, eh? Well, let’s take a listen! Hm, upstroke guitar, groovy percussion…ladies and gents, we’ve got ourselves a brocoustic number! Normally I can’t stand this stuff, but you know what? I’ve had a long few weeks, let it play! Hang on, I need a legit bro’s opinion on this, let me make a call. Pull out my phone here…

His ringback? "Your Body Is a Wonderland". Y'ello, Matt?

WHAT UP, BRAAAAHHH!

Oh, not a lot, just listening to this new song called "The Lazy Song", and wanted some bro thoughts on it. You're bro, right?

I'd say I'm tangentially bro, yeah. This song is super chill. Like, oh my gods, it starts playing, and the next thing I know, I'm about to go throw some Frisbee shirtless or buy another Incubus shirt online. It's crazy good, brah, I didn't think that Bruno Mars coul--

Wait, this is Bruno Mars?

Yeah, Brobama, didn't you know? The National Lax-ociation of Broology is gonna induct him for his sweet display of brovado.

”]

Bruno, buddy. What the hell happened? “Nothin’ on You”. The decent parts of “Rocketeer”. “Fuck You”. You had a hand in all these great pop songs; why does your solo output consist of an overly-saccharine (if good) ballad and an awkward pout-fest?

Back when I reviewed “Just the Way You Are”, I mentioned that Mars’ main mission is music was to “get the ladays“, and all he was missing was the acoustic guitar. Well, in comes “The Lazy Song”, a song built around acoustic guitar upstrokes, a rubbery bassline, and a disappointingly average drum beat (Bruno’s other singles have had pretty top notch beats). Bruno Mars on a song he produced to be a breezy summer jam? Never heard that one before. Although to be fair, like Mars’ other hits, the production is pretty tasteful.

And, like his other hits, the hook isn’t especially strong. It’ll get stuck your head eventually just through sheer repetition, but anytime I think “Today I don’t feel like doing anything”, I don’t match it with the hook here. The melody for the verses feels too hurried for such a mellow song, like Mars couldn’t cut any lyrics.

You know, because “The Lazy Song” is filled with lyrical gems. Like this: “Turn the TV on, throw my hand in my pants/No one’s going to tell me I can’t” That’s true, but guess whose hand I’m never shaking. Also, nothing’s going to date your song faster than rhyming “snuggie” with “doughie”, or mentioning a P90-x (am I the only one that had to look that one up?). Aside from those, none of these lyrics are especially bad, but none of them have any universality like “Just the Way You Are” did, and they sound like the first things Mars could think of.

Maybe I got off on the wrong foot with him on “Billionaire”, but I swear that Bruno’s voice gets better on every single. I really like his vocals here, especially on the bridge, where he sound just as smooth and personable as he always acts. It’s kind of refreshing to not hear him try so hard.

But I do miss when Mars seemed to be trying at all. Is this called “The Lazy Song” because it’s about being lazy or because it is lazy? I get that the song’s meant to be fun, and don’t get me wrong, it’s an enjoyable listen, but in a world where “Loser”, “What I Got”, and even “Billionaire” exist, “The Lazy Song” feels wholly unnecessary. We know Bruno Mars can make great songs, so why did he make the summer soundtrack for this guy?

PS: Follow Matt on twitter at http://twitter.com/frogsoblivious. He’s much less bro than he seems.

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Five Most Improved Radio Rant Songs

What’s that? Another fairly uninteresting Top 20? Thanks, Billboard! Then again, I have a lot on my plate this week anyway, so…hm…oh!

When I do a Radio Rant for a song, it tends to be pretty early in that song’s run on the Hot 100, and unsurprisingly, the 20 most popular songs in the country don’t get that way by lacking staying power. Usually. So even after the Radio Rant, I end up hearing these songs all over the place for in some cases, months, and my opinion on them changes a bit.

This happens most with the songs that get an “ok” in RRs; time and exposure nudge the initial “ok” into a more definitive “like” or “dislike”. For instance, I didn’t mind “Firework” at first, but after hearing it for months on end, two seconds of those synth bells made me gag. And in other cases, time has been kind to songs. Songs like…

5. Rihanna – Only Girl (In the World)

Rihanna falls in the middle of the field for me. None/very little of her material is outright terrible, but once I finish listening to “Rude Boy” or “S&M”, I’m perfectly fine not hearing them again. That’s not the case with “Only Girl (In the World)”, which got a lukewarm review in November, and has only gotten better since then. It’s one of club-pop!Rihanna’s Only Songs (I Can Dance To), and it balances Rihanna’s sleek and fun sides excellently. The chorus is huge, and the bridge is a straight rush. Definitely gotten better over time.

4. Far East Movement/The Black Eyed Peas – Rocketeer/Just Can’t Get Enough

I couldn’t decide which one of these to cut, then I realized that they’re pretty much the same song. They’re both from performers I tend to not like, both follow-up some terrible singles, and both have a great chorus and very pretty production. And, as I’ve learned over repeated listens, both are more enjoyably catchy than I initially thought. Of course, each song still has the lame, goofy rapping in the verses, but even that’s kind of endearing because of the chilled out, spacey mood both make.

3. Neon Trees – Animal

I gotta give Neon Trees credit, “Animal” was probably one of the least expected hits of 2010, and while it wasn’t the biggest success, it certainly held on longer than I think anyone expected it to. Part of me still thinks of it as KillersxStrokes fanfiction, but honestly, it’s a totally enjoyable listen. It’s not trying to sell a million downloads, there’s no big names attached to it, “Animal” is just a fun, unpredicted pop rock hit. However, I’ll be utterly amazed if Neon Trees is anything but a one hit wonder.

2. Katy Perry feat. Kanye West – E.T.

I know I only reviewed this one last month, but hey, time is time, right? I’m still split on Kanye’s verses; sometimes they make me roll my eyes, sometimes I chuckle at how inane they are. Y’know, like dealing with a toddler. As I said in the original Radio Rant, the song doesn’t really fall flat where Perry’s other singles do, but this chorus has grown so much on me. The stomping beat, the wailing synths, and the interesting chord progression make it my favorite of Perry’s Teenage Dream singles.

Now for the number one. Oh boy…

1. Ke$ha – We R Who We R

I cannot stand Ke$ha. Can’t do it. Nope. If I could wipe one pop star’s career from the face of the Earth, I’d go back in time, stop “Tik Tok” before it happened, and make sure Kesha Rose Sebert stayed some nerdy-ass woman who ended up publishing papers on–I don’t know–breeding patterns in wild ferrets.

Yet here it is,”We R Who We R”: a song I lambasted during its Radio Rant, and politely tolerated for an album review. And aside from a few cringe worthy lines in the verses, it’s stacked. Super fun chorus, possible Dr. Luke’s best production…damn shame he had to give it to Ke$ha. But despite her, it still does its job as a big, dumb, fun pop song.

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How Much of a Music Snob Are You?

When most people think of a “music snob”, they think of their jackass friend who disowns anything that you’ve heard of, and uses “You just don’t get it, man” as a defense anytime their own “impeccable” tastes are criticized. Yet 20somethings in knit caps living in studio apartments aren’t the only ones able to be music snobs. Music snobbery can cut across any and all genres; even a Top 40 fan can snob it up if they want. Are you a snob? Give yourself a point if…

-You consider you tastes the “right” tastes.
-Get indignant when a store doesn’t carry your artists of choice.
-Conversely, give yourself two points if you get mad when a store does carry your artists.
-YouTube hate on your music legitimately upsets you.
-Give yourself an additional point for every time you’ve had a fight with one specific user over a video.
-You’ve ever used a phrase such as “But you like Chicago/Nickelback/Metallica/Deerhunter” as a rebuttal to an argument.
-Two points if said argument was unrelated to music.
-You talk in exclusively music references.
-Add another point if they’re references you know no one will get.
-Consider newer fans (re: all fans after you) of the same artist to be “fake” or “posers”
-Put on an artist’s lesser known material to show what you know.
-Feel the need to impress others with your tastes.
-You disregard recommendations of friends.
-Give yourself a point for every time you’ve said “You just don’t get it”
-Also “How can you listen to that?”
-Consider fans of a genre/artist you don’t like to be “a bunch of rubes”?
-Avoid YouTube/streaming because of the sound quality.
-You’re the reason that a record store now stocks vinyl.
-You feel upset when one of your favorites gets big in another circle because now you have to deal with all the “new fans”.
-Hypothetical: Favorite band appears on a Twilight soundtrack. Give yourself a point if you personally feel betrayed
-Give yourself two points if you stop listening to them because of this
-Two points if you think Steve Albini‘s got the right idea
-Hell, one point if you knew who Steve Albini was before that link.
-A point for ever calling an artist a sell out.

How’d You Do?
1-7: Whoa! You’re super easy going. Very cool. Perhaps not opinionated enough, but trust me, that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
8-14: Alright, you’ve got some opinions, but nothing anyone would disown you for. Just be polite around different crowds.
15-19: Hm. On one hand, you’re probably fairly knowledgeable about your area of expertise, but on the other hand, you’re probably not a lot of fun. Meditate on this, young Padiwan.
20+: Fucking hipster.

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