Radio Rant: Glee – Baby, Sing, Take Me or Leave Me, Somebody to Love, Forget You, and Firework

Posted on March 1, 2011 by bgibs122

Those of you that frequent Ranting About Music! know that I have no love for Glee. A pot-shot here, a bad cover there, a sneer at their music on a list or two…yeah, I don’t care for it. But I’ve actually never really, really looked at the music. Yeah, I’ve heard a few songs, but they’ve been mostly overproduced schlock.

But the show has been incredibly successful, even on the charts. In fact, a few weeks ago, Glee officially had more Hot-100 entries than fucking Elvis, so they’ve gotta be doing something right, right? So this week, we’re taking a look at Glee tunes are on the Hot-100 because I’ve got time to kill and hate myself.

Baby, originally by Justin Bieber
Glee and Justin Bieber, two bad tastes that probably taste bad together. After the bro-coustic intro (apparently “Baby” could make a surprisingly good John Mayer knock-off), the song kicks into high-polish teen pop mode. Now, “Baby” is so lyrically bankrupt and I’m on a schedule, so I’m not even going to bother, but if I’m being fair, the acoustic to pop thing works really well. The song is well produced, too; not especially so, but it knows what it is, and the vocals aren’t terrible. Ok, this…this might be doable.

Sing, originally by My Chemical Romance
Alright, here we have a problem in principle. Firstly, “SING” wasn’t a great song already, and throwing Glee at My Chemical Romance makes as much sense as steak flavored ice cream. It’s not a matter of comparing the original to the cover, but that the cover is basically “My Chemical Romance as interpreted by Glee“, and the literal Google-Translator style transition from raucous rock to camped up pop feels confusing for both parties. Although MCR’s tendency to the over-dramatic fits Glee like a glove.

Take Me Or Leave Me, originally from Rent
Oh…bad idea. For those of you who don’t know, “Take Me or Leave Me” is a song from the musical Rent, meaning that this is a song written for people who can sing. It’s also a vocally demanding song, not to mention that the original is one of the most underrated showtunes of the past twenty years. And on this cover, Glee‘s tendency to overproduce suffocates what could have been an otherwise decent diva showdown. Neither of the actresses sound bad (although Amber Riley’s banshee wail should never be used), but the instrumentation is entirely too busy for a song meant to show-off vocal talent, and ends up sinking the whole thing.

Somebody to Love, originally by Queen Jefferson Airplane Justin Bieber
I’ve never heard the original version, but this…eh. It’s boring, bland, and too Auto-Tuned. And that first one is my biggest problem with it; this song is so faceless it could be on Glee, it could be Jason DeRulo, or it could be Jay Sean. There’s no real talent behind it, no charisma, and no stage presence to it. Next.

Forget You, originally by Cee-lo Green
…alright, I said I wouldn’t compare these dollar-bin knockoffs to the originals, but fucking really? The production is the Kidz-Bop version of the original (one of the best produced songs of 2010), the censoring takes 85% of the fun from the song (I acknowledge this isn’t the show’s fault), and Paltrow is just terrible. At least the Glee kids can sing, she can’t. Her voice is thin, lifeless, and grating. So is the rest of this song. If most Glee covers are tolerable, and some like “Baby” are actually better than the original, then “Forget You” is why haters hate the show.

Firework, originally by Katy Perry
…did I hit the wrong button? Maybe my memory on the original “Firework” is hazy from not hearing every 15 minutes anymore, but this chorus sounds like a direct copy and paste of the original. The only difference is that Lea Michele actually has the range for it, but this is still an incredibly plastic song with an insincere performance. This one feels pretty average; the vocals are ok, but it’s still McDonald’s-level processed.

Wrapping things up, I can safely say I’d be fine without hearing any Glee ever again. Out of the six of these, only one, “Baby”, really struck me as good, and I can’t help but think part of that was setting the bar absurdly low (the original was #4 on my Worst of 2010 list). The worst part about it is that these weren’t unsaveable; the cast seems to vocally be there (although I did hear Auto-Tune), and there’s clearly a lot of money going into these songs. But as it is, they’re lazy and overproduced, proving that quantity charts over quality.

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Album Review: Radiohead – The King Of Limbs

Posted on February 23, 2011 by bgibs122

I’d like you to watch this. Even go to YouTube if you have to.

Beavis and Butt-head might be are a pair of grunting idiots, but in a way, I kind of agree with them about Radiohead. Kid A was phenomenal, but OK Computer and The Bends were both commendable in their own right. And yeah, In Rainbows was pretty solid, but Hail to the Thief was spotty at best, and Amnesiac never made an impression. For me at least, Radiohead’s better when “Yes, yes, rooooooooooock, yeahyeahyeahyeah!” is applicable (ignoring Pablo Honey).

That said, I preordered The King of Limbs the day it was announced, and downloaded it after breakfast. And 37 minutes later as “Separator” came to a close, I felt on edge; at first The King of Limbs felt, well, limp.

This album truly is a grower. Part of that might be that Radiohead’s previous album, In Rainbows, was their most accessible work to date, and The King of Limbs feels more insular than Kid A. On the first few listens, it’s difficult to really discern any changes between any of the first three songs. Each one begins with a skittering beat, looped synths, and there’s a lot of Amnesiac pulling through, or Thom Yorke’s solo album The Eraser. It’s all very electronic.

“Bloom” was a perfect choice for an opener. The scattered piano chords, ambient noise, and most of all that perpetually falling beat make for an arresting, calmly urgent song. “Bloom” also has a nice swell to it a little over midway though; strings and synths come in and the song goes from ok to gorgeous before gracefully ending.  “Morning Mr Magpie” takes a time out around the two-minute mark to become a quiet jam session before coming full circle to a close.

“Little By Little” passes by without much incident, and the nearly instrumental “Feral” benefits from the downright tribal drumbeat (and being mostly instrumental). Next is “Lotus Flower”, you know, the one with the video of Thom Yorke dancing (and it is hilarious) is probably the most fully formed song on TKOL. The bass line is outright catchy, there’s variation to the drums, and that vocal melody is excellent.

From there out, we get some real variation in the album’s last three songs. “Codex” is as haunting as any Radiohead ballad, and is placed perfectly after giddy “Lotus Flower”. “Give Up the Ghost” focuses on layered vocals and folksie acoustic guitar, and the combination is hypnotic. Closer “Separator” is a delightful mix of the rest of the album; good beats and a few tasteful loops, but it’s also a kinetic song on its own.

If the track-by-track seemed hasty, that’s because The King Of Limbs is best taken as a whole. If I had to pin down the focus of the record, it would be on atmosphere; most of these songs serve as excellent background music. And it’s a well-textured album, too; everything is truly in its right place. Also, and this is different from Radiohead, it’s also fairly upbeat (as best seen on “Separator”).

That said, this album’s a little empty. As “Separator” ends, I can’t help but ask “Is this it?” I’m not the only one; apparently there’s a fan conspiracy theory that what we have is only half the album and the rest will follow soon (this is probably wishful, albeit credible, thinking). The King of Limbs really has to grow on you, too. I’ve given in about a dozen straight listens with two or three more on shuffle (more than my usual), and it wasn’t until Round 7 or so that I really picked out what I liked.

But almost immediately I could tell what I didn’t like. The relative brevity of the album and lack of variety dulled some of my enthusiasm, and only a few of the songs really go anywhere past their initial setup. It’s also incredibly underwhelming emotionally. I could reference older songs, but even 21st century Radiohead had emotional bite; “All I Need” and “Harry Patch (In Memory Of)” are examples of that, and there’s none here. The inaccessibility seems to have turned a lot of people off, too; I know I only opened up to it because I made myself listen to it a few more times.

But still, what it does it does well, 3/5 stars.

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Radio Rant: Far East Movement – Rocketeer

Posted on February 22, 2011 by bgibs122

Hello all, and welcome back for another Radio Rant. Now, I’ll be honest; I didn’t actually come prepared this week. Usually I head in with something lined up, but for the first time since November, I got nothin’. So I’ve been informed that today, we’re experiencing a change of pace. Instead of music, I’ll be reviewing the 1991 movie The Rocketeer, starring Billy Campbell and Jennifer Connelly.

The Rocketeer is perhaps one of the least famous superhero movies out there. Based on the 1980’s-created-but-1930’s-set comic of the same name, The Rocketeer was a rarity in what we expect from superhero flicks; the critics generally liked it, citing the visuals, style, and outright fun of the movie, yet it’s considered a box office bomb and has been swept under the rug. Did Proto-Iron Man really suck? Well, let’s find out!

…

Actually, I’ve just been informed that there was a miscommunication. This week, I’ll be looking at the song “Rocketeer”. Well, ok. Who’s it by?

Oh, screw this. Sorry, do I sound irritated? Far East Movement’s previous/first hit, “Like a G6” was bad enough to land the #2 spot on my Worst of 2010 list, so I’m not exactly thrilled to deal with the follow-up. But hell, it’s this or “Black and Yellow”, so I’ll take what I can get. Maybe it’ll be about the movie.

Nope, instead “Rocketeer” is vaguely a love jam. This “girl” is so lovely that she makes Far East Movement fly like a G6 rocketeer, because apparently, feeling fly is all Far East Movement knows how to do. That and be generic. Quiz time: Besides “Sober girls around me they be ackin’ like they drunk”, name two lines from the verses in “Like a G6” from memory. You know the song got beaten into you enough times for one or two to stick, out with it.

What?

Nothing?

Oh, right, because the verse in “Like a G6” were absolutely forgettable. And so are they in “Rocketeer”. There’s three different verses by three different members of the group, but they’re all pretty similarly bland and bad. Not a single line stands out, and after months of being free of it, Auto-Tune rears its ugly head again. With three people putting together lyrics, what have we got here?

-“Where we go we don’t need roads, roads” Is that right, Doc Brown?

–“Just say the words and we outta here, here/Hold my hand if you feeling scared, scared/We flying up, up outta here” You had to rhyme “here” with “here”? And what’s with the stutter?

“Baby, we can stay fly like a G6” Yep, because Far East Movement aren’t above the complete lameness of referencing their own, awful songs. May you carry the curse of that thing for forever, boys.

–“Go on the next level, Super Mario” You’re not on Young Money, you don’t a free pass on the “not using ‘like'” thing. Hell, even they don’t deserve that. Also, you can’t pretend to be cool and “fly” and then drop a Super Mario reference.

-“I hope this works out, cardio” That…that’s just a poorly put together statement. That’s “I got her, grocery bag” bad.

Now, before you think that I’ve totally shut down “Rocketeer”, the chorus is pretty nice. Written by Bruno Mars and sang by Ryan “New entry in unfortunate last names” Tedder of OneRepublic, who turns in a decent performance, although that’s probably more the melody than him. And the production, tagteamed by Stereotypes and The Smeezingtons (the latter can take credit for “Nothin’ On You”, “Right Round”, and “Fuck You!”) is a fantastic blend of scattered synths grounded by piano chords and a strong and steady beat. It’s very pretty, very good music.

“Rocketeer” still kind of fluctuates for me. The production’s the best part about it, and the chorus isn’t lacking, either. But the credited artist has such an empty presence on the song that it drags the entire project down. It’s not as bad as “Like a G6”, but then again, “better than ‘Like a G6′” is a bar lower enough to step over. But still, I suppose there’s worse.

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Album Review: Amanda Palmer – Amanda Palmer Goes Down Under

Posted on February 17, 2011 by bgibs122

At first, listening to Amanda Palmer’s Amanda Palmer Goes Down Under feels like listening to an inside joke confined to national boarders. Why would an American singer-songwriter with a British author husband release an Australian themed album? As it turns out, Palmer’s something of a cult figure Down Under, so an album stuffed with songs like “Australia”, “Vegemite”, “New Zealand”, and a Vegemite jingle and features from Australian artists makes sense.

Amanda Palmer Goes Down Under is fairly confusing if you look at it as an album (as the promo material suggests) because it’s pretty schizophrenic. Of 12 songs, we have, oh Lord…9 live tracks, 5 covers/features, 3 studio tracks, and 5 originals, all tossed in an order without any rhyme or reason. But, as with everything carrying the Amanda Palmer brand, there’s a sense of fun and “because I can”.

That “because I can” mentality has made Palmer polarizing as a performer. There are people who see things like songs about pubic hair freedom and selling your album for 69 cents and think it’s hysterical, and then there are those who roll their eyes at the whole thing. And as you travel down under, odds are you’ll find both in Amanda Palmer…

The album opens like just about every live album ever: the crowd cheers, Palmer is announced, and we begin with “Makin’ Whoopie”, a cabaret standard. Between “Makin’ Whoopie” and the Palmer-penned second song “Australia”, …Goes Down Under has a kind of lukewarm cabaret-style start. It’s not until the hilarious “Vegemite (The Black Death)” that the ball really gets rolling, and the capital C Catchy “Map of Tasmania” (the aforementioned pubic hair anthem) starts off a pair of strong studio tracks (the other being nicely written “In My Mind”, featuring the other half the Dresden Dolls, Brian Viglione).

The gorgeous “Bad Wine and Lemon Cake”, written by and performed with The Jane Austen Argument, keeps up the album’s tendency to jump emotions. Starting with “Vegemite”, we go from hilarious to empowered to super sad, and then back to hilarious with “New Zealand”, which captures both sides of Palmer’s polarizing personality. The song itself is pretty funny, but the pre and post song banter (which in “New Zealand”‘s case goes on for a minute and a half) is totally lost on the listener by virtue of us not being there.

That problem kind of haunts some of the other live songs, but none so much as “A Formideable Marinade” (sung with Mikelangelo and Lance Horne, Mikelangelo wrote the song). It’s an old-Broadway sounding. ok song on its own, but without the visual aspect of the performance, it doesn’t hold up as well.

But thankfully other songs do. “On an Unknown Beach” is delightfully pretty, and the insanely theatric “Doctor Oz” is one of the most enjoyable songs on the album. And Palmer’s version of Nick Cave’s “The Ship Song” is in ship shape itself.

Overall, Amanda Palmer Goes Down Under is fun enough. It’s business as usual as far as Palmer releases go; silly, campy, heartbreaking, and unconventionally sexual. As an album, it’s frustratingly conflicted; but Amanda Palmer wouldn’t want it another way. Three stars.

tl;dr: Good fun, and dirt cheap. 3/5.

Buy it here.

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