Grammy Recap

Posted on February 15, 2011 by bgibs122

The Grammy’s happened on Sunday night. In terms of awards shows, The Grammys actually rank fairly low. I mean, some people live and die by the Oscars, and every fan of The Great White Way believes in the power of the Tony, but most music heads look at the Grammys with (at best) slight curiosity and indifference, and (at worst) outright scorn. So let’s kick off with seeing how I did on my predictions.

Short answer: I did just as well as Eminem did. Horribly.

My gravest miscalculation was the complete and utter lack of faith I have in Lady Antebellum’s tear in the beer “Need You Now”, which took home Record and Song of the Year. Best New Artist went to Esperanza “Not Justin Goddamn Bieber” Spalding, who is apparently a capable jazz musician. Outside Lady Antebellum, there weren’t many repeat winners, save The Black Keys, who won Best Rock Performance, Best Alternative Album, and Best Recording Package. I was able to call Lady Gaga’s two wins; Best Short Form Music Video and Best Pop Album with Vocals for The Fame Monster, so that’s consoling.

Then there’s the big’un, Album of the Year. This year’s AOTY nominees were a pretty interesting snapshot of the big guy’s perspective on modern music. You have the “Aw, shucks” earnest group of Nashville country kids (Lady Antebellum), the out of this world megastar (Lady Gaga), the shoe-in “This is what’s cool, right?” indie rock band (Arcade Fire), the #1 hitmaker (Katy Perry), and the veteran staging a comeback (Eminem). A gross oversimplification, but interesting none the less. And I could have seen anyone with this one; Lady Gaga or Eminem if the Grammy voters wanted to give an artist “their due” from prior snubs, Arcade Fire getting it to “validate” indie’s place in music, Lady Antebellum just to diffuse everybody, or Katy Perry just to give us all the finger for piracy. Then this happened.

In a moment that the usually uber-detached and snarky Pitchfork accurately described as “Holy shit!”, Arcade Fire walked away with Album of the Year for The Suburbs (which also got my #1 spot for top albums of the year). Congrats, guys. Even if no one knows who you are.

Sunday’s broadcast dedicated most of its airtime to live performances from artists across the spectrum. The most colorful (no pun intended) performance was Cee-lo Green decked out in a full Elton John meets the chicken coop outfit with Jim Henson puppets for a crazy awesome “Fuck You!” that even Gwneth Paltrow could ruin. B.o.B, Bruno Mars, and Janelle Monae went in on an awesome medley of “Nothin’ On You”, “Grenade”, and “Cold War”, proving that each of these up and coming stars are filled with potential.

Other standouts were more surprising. This year’s “what the hell?” collaboration of a pirate John Mayer, Norah Jones, and Keith Urban on Dolly Parton’s “Jolene” went better than it ever had the right to. Mumford and Sons and The Avett Brothers had surprisingly solid performances before wetting themselves while on-stage with Bob Dylan for “Maggie’s Farm”. And Mick Jagger got to parade all over “Everybody Needs Somebody to Love” as a tribute to the late Solomon Burke.

But it wasn’t roses for everyone. Katy Perry went through a limp performance of “Not Like the Movies”, a song so empty and boring I’m surprised it’s not called “Jar of Hearts”. Justin Bieber’s finally getting too old looking for this his marketed image, and putting him on stage against Usher did the kid no favors in terms of stage presence or dance steps (although Bieber does show promise in those areas). Barbra Streisand’s performance was the extended pee break of the night. Also, Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” performance felt eerily run of the mill.

Overall, this year’s Grammy show was a fairly entertaining (and finally fulfilling) night. Even if I did guess damn near everything wrong.

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Radio Rant: Lady Gaga – Born This Way

Posted on February 15, 2011 by bgibs122

Game time.

As of writing, this single had yet to technically chart, but think about it. There’s no way it won’t debut at #1 on the Hot 100, and it’s slated to be the 1000th #1 on the chart, something I refuse to chalk up to coincidence.

And crap like that is why I can’t call myself a Lady Gaga fan. It’s not her music; I actually liked most of The Fame Monster and gave it a four star review. It’s pop, but it’s really well-done pop by someone with a great voice. I also appreciate that she legitimately gets people excited about pop music.

My problem with Lady Gaga is Lady Gaga. She’s not the whirlwind of creativity and originality that everyone claims she is. I mean, shit, throw a 1980’s pop Madonna obsession, a shot each of camp/glam, and an unchecked budget at each other, and she’s the natural result. The lack of actual originality and the hurricane of bullshit produced by her public persona keep booting me off the Gaga fan-train. But you know what? I like the music, I can deal with her indirectly, and I’m honestly curious about her new stuff. Let’s get this party started.

…we are not off to a great start. Gaga’s spoken word intros were the least appealing part of The Fame Monster; they’re lame and reek of pretension. Thankfully, the beat kicks in before too long, and it is gigantic. When “Born This Way” kicks into chorus mode, there is no way to not dance to it. Gaga’s always been known for giant choruses, but “Born This Way” is an out-and-out club stomper, and possibly the catchiest thing she’s done. Turn it up and let it play.

Of course, Gaga and her producers seem to have taken care of the “turn it up” part for you. For someone whose production has been nearly flawless so far in her career, “Born This Way” is a misstep; overloaded with synths, too many superfluous noises, and too loud. Gaga’s previous releases had breathing room up until they became singularly focused (usually the chorus), and it made for a great dynamic. “Born This Way” comes in “loud” and “headache”.

The lyrics. Alright, last week, I quipped that I was getting tired of “be yourself” songs…and now here I am looking at a song called “Born This Way”. I still stand by my previous statements about those songs, but “Born This Way”, coming from Gaga–who herself is bisexual and an honest to God gay rights advocate–is nothing but sincere, and I can’t hate on that. And these lyrics aren’t even bad, the first snag comes at the second stanza of the chorus, which is just a little too much on the hokey life-coach side of things. Then there’s this.

“Don’t be a drag, just be a queen”

Really, Gaga? Your big anthem, and you had to toss that clunker in? To be fair, it’s not the worst thing she’s written (“I’m bluffin’ with my muffin” and “I wanna take a ride on your disco stick” come to mind), but it’s still bad enough to stop the song’s momentum. Other lyrical fuck-up is using outdated pejoratives “orient” and “chola” in a “Everyone is cool!” song.

In the end, “Born This Way” leaves me pretty lukewarm, not especially pulling me either way. As something loud and fast to dance to, it’s perfectly fine, but as a song it’s nothing special. Yeah, it’s catchy, and Gaga always sounds in control, but to tell the total truth, this is a little a bland. It could have never lived up to the hype (well, not unless the song was able to fix the economy, or cure cancer), but Gaga’s music is usually more than overstuffed, feel-good pop. It’s not her worst single, but definitely underwhelming.

Oh yeah, then there’s the whole Madonna problem.

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7 Songs Everyone Knows The Meaning To (But They Don’t)

Posted on February 13, 2011 by bgibs122

Most pop songs are pretty upfront about their meaning. “I love you”, “I hate you”, “You should totally date me”, “Intercourse with you seems like a mutually beneficial and rewarding experience”, and “I am a God among men” (Jay-Z has made a career out of these types of songs) are just a few messages you’re likely to hear on the radio. But some artists are a little less blunt about it, and with room for interpretation, well… (Note: click the pictures to listen to the song–stupid record labels keep restricting playback)

7. Feist – 1234

Everyone says: Oh, I remember this song! That’s the one with the funky, bright video from the iPod commercial way back! It’s so much fun and she’s so cute!

Actually…
“1234” tricks you by masking sad lyrics with an upbeat melody so that when you hear the song, your first thought is “Wow, look at how catchy this song is!” and not, “Oh wow, that poor girl”. It’s called lyrical dissonance, and it’s used all the time to keep fans and musicians from killing themselves. In “1234”‘s case, there’s the added trick that you can’t quite tell what she’s singing.

A cursory glance at “1234”‘s lyrics reveal lines like, “Those teenage hopes/Who have tears in their eyes/Too scared to own up to one little lie” and “Before the teenage boys/They’re breaking your heart”. The song’s about a teenage crush changing and breaking your heart, and Apple would have probably sold few iPods if you could tell that.

6. John Lennon – Imagine

Everyone says: Hey man, can’t we all just like, get along? What about peace, man, you ever gonna live for peace? All that capitalism, and the religion…it’s just makes the hate grow, man, and we gotta, like, stop the hate, you know?

Actually…
This might be going against the intent of the author, but…you ever really thought out what this place would look like? I love me some world peace, but “Imagine” wipes the world clean of any notion of another state of existence, passions, possessions, trouble…hell, John, what’d you leave us with? Existence? If you lived in the world of “Imagine”, there’d be no point to day-to-day life, and I’d rather not imagine that.

5. Pearl Jam – Alive

Everyone says: It’s all there in the chorus! “Oooh Aaahaaa, hooo whoaaaa, Ah’m stuh alike, yeaheyeah”. Or, for those of you that don’t speak Eddie Vedder, “Oh I, whoa, I’m still alive”. It’s uplifting and positive!

Actually…
That’s technically the case now, but only because the band relented after fans spent over a decade insisting “Alive” was positive, because in fact, the original meaning would be more at home in a soap opera than a grunge concert. The song was originally part 1 of a trilogy called Manasan. In “Alive”, a mother tells her son that the man he thinks is his father is actually his step-father, and the mother and son engage in an incestuous relationship. Part 2, “Once” involves the son going on a killing spree, and the thrilling conclusion is him in jail, reflecting on his life.

Boy is it good to be alive!

4. The Smashing Pumpkins – Today

Everyone says : First line of the song, all I’ll say. “Today is the greatest day I’ve ever known”. Everyone from car commercials to high school graduations have used this song, the lyrics are uplifting and the music is, too.

Actually…
“I was really suicidal. I just thought it was funny to write a song that said today is the greatest day of your life because it can’t get any worse.”–Billy Corgan, writer of “Today”. To wit, Corgan was facing high pressure to capitalize on his previous success, an all time high in tensions in his band, depression, and writer’s block. Hell, he was even able to “sneak” (re: say) this in the song; other choice lyrics include “I wanted more than life could ever grant me” and “Pink ribbon scars [self-mutilation] will never forget”. If that shit doesn’t make you want to buy a Ford, nothing will!

3. Oasis – Wonderwall

Everyone says : With Valentine’s Day coming up, this song is getting played all over the place! Such a sweet and charming love song that the songwriter wrote for his girlfriend!

Actually…
In all fairness, this is probably the most legitimate misfire on the list, as pretty much everyone who wasn’t in Oasis (that part’s important) claimed that it was a love song. However, Oasis guitarist Noel Gallagher was able to dispute this claim from the oh so wise perspective of writing the damn song, saying, “It’s about an imaginary friend who’s going to come and save you from yourself.” So for Valentine’s Day, when you make that special someone a mix cd that includes “Wonderwall”, you might want to make sure that they exist and that you’re ok. Otherwise, you’ll have more problems than giving a crappy gift.

2. Nine Inch Nails – Closer

Everyone says: According to Limewire circa 2006, this song might as well be called “I Wanna Fuck You Like an Animal”, because that’s the only memorable thing about it. That and it sounds like you would be a champion if you boned someone to this song. Something to bring out your kinky, raunchy, awesome side, right?

Actually…
“Closer” brings out sides of you that you don’t want to have, let alone have brought out. True, the song outright sounds like sex, but while classic sex songs like “Let’s Get It On” have lyrics that suggest, well, let’s get it on, “Closer” says something more like “Let’s get it on because I have no other way of adequately expressing myself and escaping how much I suck”.

The takeaway lyric of “Closer” (“I wanna fuck you like an animal”) only sounds kinky when you blatantly ignore everything else, especially considering the line right after that is “My whole existence is flawed”. Among other lyrical hints that everything’s not cool, we have lines like “You can have my isolation/You can have the hate that it brings”, “(Help Me) The only thing that works for me/Help me become somebody else”. And, even though it’s fairly muddled, the last line of the song is “You are the reason I’m still alive”. Sexy!

1. Lady Gaga – Telephone

Everyone says: It’s about a guy that keeps calling her while she’s at the club having a good time. That’s all the lyrics say! There’s no hinting at it being anything but that!

Actually…
You know, that’s a perfectly valid, logical interpretation of “Telephone”. If Rihanna, Christiana, or (God help us) Britney released the song, that would be the long and short of its meaning. But wait, who are we dealing with again?

Lady fucking Gaga.

Turns out that “Telephone”, last year’s “I’m out with my friends, go away” club hit, is actually about the voice in Lady Gaga’s head that tells her to get back to work. Although to be fair, when the video for the song is an exercise in how much bullshit you can fit into nine and a half minutes, I guess there’s a lot of work involved. Still though, who are you going to believe: your own, rational sense of reasoning, or the woman in the meat dress?

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Mini Mixtape #14

Posted on February 11, 2011 by bgibs122

I could do a Valentine’s Day theme/anti-theme, but screw it, shuffle week! Click the song title to listen.

Liz Phair – Fuck and Run (1993)
So deadpan it’s hilarious, so straight-played it isn’t.

Deerhunter – He Would Have Laughed (2010)
Bradford Cox’s tribute to the late Jay Reatard. The end of the song was one of the great “What the hell?” moments of 2010.

Avril Lavinge – Girlfriend (2007)
It’s shuffle for a reason, folks. This song shouldn’t be as obnoxiously catchy as it is, but well, it is.

The Strokes – Under Cover of Darkness (2011)
Just released yesterday. Snappy instrumentation, but Julian sings a little too high. Still though, the rest of the album could sound like this and not suck. And it’s The Strokes so that might happen.

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