Sex Bob-omb – Garbage Truck (2010)
Sex Bob-omb’s songs (written by alt-guru Beck) are non-nonsensical, distorted beyond belief, and so charmingly garage rock it’s almost cute. Groovy tune, though.
The White Stripes – Do (1999)
Slow-jam song from The White Stripes self-titled album. One of the band’s lesser-known songs, but still a lot of fun to listen to, especially since Jack and Meg rarely take the tempo this slow.
The Beatles – I’m Only Sleeping (1966)
A John Lennon tune off of Revolver about being able to laze around and sleep by a guy who infamously spent the first part of his career never getting any. Dreamy, druggy pop.
Brendan Benson – Life in the D (2002)
Indie workman Brendan Benson is, believe it or not, from Detroit, and meditates on life there in the least Detroit-sounding way. Great song.
It’s been four years since the world last heard from indie band Smoosh. Their second record, Free to Stay, got the band attention for first of all being recorded by a 14-year-old and a 12-year-old, and secondly for being really good (giving any teenager that played an instrument a massive inferiority complex). It was catchy, lean, and planted in the band’s drum and keyboard setup.
This isn’t quite the Smoosh we’re used to. New elements include a bass player, a focus on electronics and atmosphere, and a less chaotic and more fluid song structure are present in opener “Finnerodja”. Older Smoosh (well, technically younger Smoosh) operated on a get-in-get-out-in-three-minutes principle that “Finnerodja” ignores by clocking in at a whooping five and a half minutes. Most bands couldn’t handle that sort of jump, but Smoosh has played enough and has enough control over the song to make it work.
But they quickly one-up themselves with “We Are Our Own Lies”. Smoosh has always been above average instrumentally, but on “We Are Our Own Lies”, there’s a synthesis not seen in their previous songs. Drums enter and drop out, keyboards hit high and then low, and the song rises and falls with grace, showing that the band can add new elements while still not forgetting what made them fun in the first place.
As the album continues, it becomes clear that Smoosh were able to achieve what a lot of bands can’t: how to successfully move forward while still sounding like you. As it turns out, Smoosh works really well when they inject some jam and dynamics into their songs and give everything room to breath. This is what makes songs like “Dark Shine” and “Aaaarplane” (which features a great beat) great. Everything sounds like it comes naturally, and the record’s biggest strength is how well everyone plays. And fear not, towards the middle of the album, the band eases up on the long songs, and things even get down to three and a half minutes at one point (the lovely “In the Fall”).
Withershins is Smoosh’s most realized record. Experimental elements that some bands throw in as afterthoughts (looking at you, Interpol) are developed ideas here; the strings add lush details to already strong choruses, and the dark atmosphere helps give the band a bit of snap and kick. Really, “darker” was one of my first impressions of this album, there are more minor chords and somber arrangements here than She Like Electric or Free to Stay.
The only downside is that while all of this might be new to the band, none of it is particularly new to listeners. Outside of the ubiquitous “indie” label, putting an accurate genre to Withershins because it never really pulls in any particular direction. When Smoosh expanded their sound, they did the same with their comfort zone. Those great ideas previously mentioned are still great, but they happen in exactly the areas you’d expect. Though then again, these girls are growing. But still, it’s a positive listening experience, four stars.
tl;dr: Great signs of growth and even more potential ahead. 4 out of 5.
Well, you went and did it, America. Ke$ha’s latest suckstorm “We R Who We R” went from nowhere to #1 on the Hot 100, leaving me absolutely no choice but to do it. I was finally going to get around to “DJ Got Us Fallin’ in Love” or “Only Girl (In the World)” this week, but nope, we have to deal with this vapidity instead. I hope you’re happy.
Maybe I was getting happy that Ke$ha was finally on her way out. “Tik Tok” was inescapable for a while, but each of her following singles had a progressively shorter life span, and I thought she was finally out of material from Animal and we’d be done with her.
But no. Out of nowhere comes the stupidly titled “We R Who We R”, and the announcement of Ke$ha’s new EP Cannibal. The EP is due out later in November, and is supposed to be a bunch of amped up songs that are a direct result of all of the artist’s experiences from since she got famous. This should sound really familiar.
But let’s get to the actual song. My first thought after listening “We R Who We R” has always been exactly the same: Why is this song being wasted on Ke$ha? Producer Dr. Luke’s recent output has placed him in near Hack status, but his production on “We R Who We R” is actually great. It’s a great dance track, and the chorus is massive. The last 50 seconds of the song are particularly great, and I would love this track if it was an instrumental.
Because only Ke$ha is able to take music I genuinely like and turn it into the most obnoxious song this side of Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakel. Ke$ha turns her already irritating qualities up to 11 for this song; her phoneyass “Valley Gurl” accent is more over the top than usual, she still can’t sing, she still can’t rap, and there’s somehow even more Auto-Tune here than there was on “Take It Off”. Her singing on the chorus is so technological that it might as well be another synth; I almost refuse to believe that’s a human voice.
But even her fake chorus schtick is easier to swallow than the wall of obnoxiousness that calls itself the verses. All the annoying things fall perfectly into place: the bullshit accent, the godawful sing-talking, the Auto-Tune so gratuitous I’m surprised it’s not self-parody, and my God her pronunciation. She’s literally talking in shitty text-message language. Example: “I’m so sick of being so srsis, it’s makin’ my brain dlriss” Because apparently when you’re Ke$ha, vowels don’t have to exist. Also, when was she ever serious?
Now, the message of the song. From what I’ve read, the song was inspired by the recent number of suicides by gay teens, and is supposed to be one of those “celebrate who you are” songs. I respect that.
But what I don’t respect is how insincere it is. Firstly, these lyrics are just like every other Ke$ha song. She’s still obsessed with clubs, boozing, and boys. Secondly, going from lyrics likethese to “let’s celebrate who we are and how quirky we are!” can’t help but sound insincere. And thirdly, I refuse to accept a “be yourself” song from an artist who has created a public persona for the sole purpose of making money (she spells her name with a dollar sign for a reason).
At the end of the day, is this a terrible song? Kind of. On it’s face, it’s passable. The great chorus and stellar production throughout are what keeps the song afloat, despite Ke$ha’s attempt to sink what’s otherwise a great track (personally, I think it’s catchier than “Tik Tok”). It’s only once you really listen to it that the bullshit detector starts going off. Still, someone more deserving should have had this song.
As I’ve previously shown, covers can be good things. Fun, even. What better way to show your artistic abilities than by reworking a beloved standard, or showing your take on an old personal favorite? Hey, it worked for Hendrix with Bob Dylan (twice), Nirvana’s “Man Who Sold the World” might be more well-known than the original, and all anyone knows of Alien Ant Farm is their nu-metaled up “Smooth Criminal”. So hey, it can work.
Then other times, like on these five songs, it can not.
5. Glee – Sweet Transvestite And we’re already off to a “piss someone off start”. I’ve never watched an episode of Glee myself, but I’ve heard a song from it here and there. From what I’ve gathered, the head haunchos seem to ask themselves, “How can we take anything from Paramore’s latest single to a Beatles’ classic and strip it of any soul or meaning and make lots of money?”
From the get-go, Gleeifying Rocky Horror misses the point of Rocky Horror; part of it’s appeal is in how B-rated and cheap it is. So pumping “Sweet Transvestite” with all that hot studio production to make it sell on iTunes is already going to be a misfire.
Then there’s the fact that this is a terrible cover. Amber Jones swaps the cool, seductive performance usually associated with Dr. Frank-N-Furter for one that sounds like a cat getting strangled. She lacks the dynamics for it to work even a little bit; if you’re going to belt out, don’t do it every ten seconds. It’s supposed to show off her skills, but it’s more grating than anything else. Jones’ unpleasantly-in-your-face-while-totally-lifeless performance mixed with the uninspired production put one of Glee‘s travesties on the list.
4. Snoop Dogg – Sad But True How does MTV think they should properly give Metallica tribute? By inviting Sum 41, Avril Lavinge, Limp Bizkit, Korn, Staind, and, I shit you not, Snoop Dogg to stumble through some of the band’s better songs. To be fair, it wasn’t the shitstorm everyone expected; Limp Bizkit did a surprising job of not totally sucking, Sum 41 did a respectable medley, and even Avril wasn’t the worst of the night.
That honor goes to Snoop Dodizzle double-G-y-izzle for a bad, bad attempt at turning “Sad But True” into a rap song. Presumably knowing the song’s about to fall flat, Doggy Dogg spends awhile ad-libbing “Chyeah, chyeah, Snoop Dogg in the house” to put off handling “Sad But True”. And the real song’s just embarrassing; Snoop falls behind at one point, apparently never decided on a meter to follow, and ends up trying to half-sing parts of the song (“It’s sad but truuuuue…”). Mercifully, he finally taps out after a minute of humiliating himself and Metallica, who had to sit there and pretend to like it. Sad but true.
3. Fearless Records’ “Punk Goes ____” I spent a solid half-hour just jumping around YouTube looking for which one of these godawful abominations out-sucked the rest, but it’s a failed endeavor. Much like Glee, I’m given to believe that Fearless’ “Punk Goes ____” series is an organized campaign against good music. The first one was ok enough, but they’ve gotten worse and worse to the point that just buying one docks IQ points (this might explain why the Warped Tour crowd still eats’em up). It was kind of a good idea, but the past few release have just been no name bands with chemical plant waste colored hair and spray-on tight jeans butcher their favorite songs.
2. Hilary Duff – My Generation Oh yes, it’s exactly what you think. If Oasis could do a great cover of it, Green Day could do a decent cover it, then Hilary Duff can do one of the worst covers of The Who’s “My Generation” on the planet. Snotty vocals, terrible production, and her Miley-Cyrus’-mentor attitude all stack up to make this a sad excuse of a cover.
In fact, who the fuck thought this would be a good idea? Think about it. This is from Hilary’s barely post-Disney days. Which puppet-master studio producer thought that she’d be an appropriate fit for a song that includes “Hope I die before I get old”? Oh wait, that’s a line that’s only present in good version of the song; here it’s changed to “Hope I DON’T die before I get old”. And Hilary Duff was never all that big anyway. I mean, out of my whole jr. high class, only one girl was an avid fan, the rest…eh, they knew of her existence, I guess. So for her, talkin’ ’bout my generation rings hollow. And like suck made in audio form. But that’s still nothing compared to…
1. The Worst Talent Show Band on Earth – Smells Like Teen Spirit
The worst of the worst, ladies and gentlemen. Everyone else who’s been on this List of Shame has made crimes against humanity, but they’re jaywalkers against war criminals next to this baby. Every band that’s existed since 1992 has covered “Smells Like Teen Spirit” at some point, even my little two month cover band in high school took a crack at it one practice, but I think hope no one’s ever gone this badly about it.
This is not only a godawful cover, it’s one that stays with you. When I needed a number one for this list, this half-aborted take on “Smells Like Teen Spirit” was the first song that came to mind, and I haven’t heard it in years. That’s how long this thing will haunt you.
The star of the video is the singer, who tells you everything you need to know about her once you see her struggle to pull her damn jacket off twenty seconds in. The first verse is pretty intolerable, but oh just you wait for that chorus. “WTHELIGHTSOUT. IT’SLESSDAYGRUS.” It’s not so much singing as much as taking a tone deaf girl with Tourettes off her meds and making her sing. Throw in the clusterfuck that’s the second chorus, the general suckiness of the band in general, and you have the worst cover of all time.
Ranting About Music! 